M@D_FiSt went mad…

Don’t know what to say anymore. It’s not like I ever thought much about life and happiness, but sometimes it happened. I saw a movie, read a book and think. But all I can say is that was all. Just thinking. Nothing happened, nothing changed, no question answered if there was any. In beginning of the film I really thougt "Yes that’s rigth, fuck society". Break your boundaries and fly. Have an aim and figth for it. But I never thougth about making it alone. My friend who show me this movie told me that one day he will get his backpack leave his cellphone at home and go into the wild. He didn’t said forever and he ask me if I want to come.

So I feel what this film was trying say I already knew. Make new friends, new connections and not the way you do that on facebook or whatever. I think get to know one person gives you a whole new aspect of life and a tiny bit of happiness and sadness too. On the other hand, sharing our heart with someone makes us feel it really happened, makes us feel it’s real. I already knew the answer but I still can’t stop my tears from falling. Something so overwhelmingly fell on me that I started crying. I am crying but don’t know why. Is it only stress, fatigue, or this world is really that rotten or it’s just that our own path is so blurred that when the way of others shows us there’s still ligth out there, we just feel so relieved that we can compress all our problems into a single drop of tear and let it go.

I don’t know, maybe I don’t want to know. Just had to write something, had to say that I’m alive. I’m here.

As usual I don’t know what to say or what to write about. It’s just a feeling that I need to share some emotions or thougths I have with unlucky bastards who just happened to be here reading this shit. It’s just the blogger’s way. You people out in the real world can call it g33kness, that we are just lonely people who can’t find a partner to talk to and in a way you’re rigth. This very moment I cannot find anybody in my vicinity to share the feelings I have after finished watching the Band of Brothers series. Funny hhe? That could be the other point in looking us down. Always sitting in front of the screen typing, clicking, programing, downloading surfing, watch films, animes, play games and then come the internet and talk about it.

Tovább ehhez a bejegyzéshez »

I f33l s000 l33t today but i know you hate this crappy spelling so lets just say I feel so geek sometimes. Here are some random thougths which came into my mind during classes or under the shower. (I should’ve post this shit months ago…)

Before: I’m shitscared like a ten year old boy in the gardrobe wacthing someone murdering his parents.

After: My brain feel like thousand core2 runing in infinite cycles egy falling into the same deadlock simultaneously.

I feel like bull with sword in its heart.

Fatal error: unable to load brain.dll…

Let me be the bullet through your heart.

And I feel ridiculously pumped-up and miserable at the same time.

Slow motion Ltd.

I cannot tell anyone so I tell everyone.

to be continued …

However nothing really happened I just fuckin’ fed up with everything. Again. Today I wanted to ask a man about the traffic jam in the middle of nowhere but he was an englishman. No that wasn’t the real problem, I could ask him anyway and I clearly understand what he said. It’s just that when he talked I wanted to say ’sokka’ but I just nodded and when he finished explaining the situation I wanted to thank him with ‘arigato’. I’ve become so confused that I could hardly say a word. Damn fuckin’ J-stuff.

Anyway I’m kinda fed up with these animes also. I really not interested in any of them, but I just got the feeling that I should definitely watch an episode tonight. Yesterday I started to watch about 3 animes but in the end chose Samurai Champloo which i’m watching for 2nd time.

Now I’m listening to d’n'b again since my friends choose another party for New Year’s Eve Everyone’s telling me that a party at somewhere far away with guys from the university would be better than a big fuckin’ loud drum’n'bass party with hundreds of people and at least 20 DJs. In the end I may go to the other faraway party with my highschool friends which I declined the first.

LIF3′S 4 PI3C3 O’ 5HIT!

Hi guys! Unlucky i’m back. I think i read enough to write something again. Yeah it was quite awesome stuff, it would be unputdownable if it were a book. I even thougt that i should order the printed one via internet. 10 dollars a book but it would be extremly to hold it in my hands. But enough of that for tonight.

You could never imagine what party i was in yesterday. Now if someone asks me what breakcore or drillcore or Venetian Snares or Bong-Ra is like i would say ‘u d3finit3lly don wanna know’. It almost felt like the pangalactic gugglebluster, expect it wasn’t that good. It gave new meaning to music and noise. It was brainfuckin’ night. I didn’t need to drink cuz i couldn’t hear my own thougths. Well, sometimes it felt ‘run over by a fuckin’ huge truck’ or like ’seeing Diana’s corpse get raped by some 3vil metalguys’. We’ve listened the "sonic recreation of the end of the world"* for nearly 3 hours when the equipment decided to give up. So did the crowd. But they managed to reassemble the stuff and the real (at least enjoyable) party could begin with less people. But we were tired and our power only last for 1 more hour (maybe i should do some sports). We managed to get home at 5 AM. I wrote to mum ‘not to wake me up, i’m ok’ and go to bed. Well, almost. Before that we watched the 4th episode of Bible Black. It was crazy, huge dicks, screamin’ chicks, 3vil woman of devil, girls hunger for fuck… i will write ’bout it later.

Today i decided not to listen to any kinda stuff that comes from jungle (a.k.a dnb, breakbeat, liquid funk…. don know all the genres). Instead i become the metal guy again, without long hair, black leather clothes etc. Oh, and i installed my new multifunctional printer. Now i can scan, photocopy and print…(great he?). Mom dont like it. She hates black and grey and also think that only hp can make fine printers. Oh she also thinks that high price means quality (in a way yes, but not always) but i dont care anymore.

I don feel like watch any anime in the last couple of days. Maybe i’m bored with them… (hahaha, after these statements comes 4 entry of anime…) Well, i think it’s enough for today, JA NA!

*quote from pendulum’s blood sugar

PS. ph34r t3h cut3 on3s

PS2v1.0: i think my cpu really likes dating sims, it gets hot everytime.

PS2v2.0: how could a fuckin’ dating sim which only operate with still pictures, texts and some voice could use 100 percent of the processor?!?! Everytime i start to play its temperature reach the treshold in 5 mins. Not even heroes4 os warcraft3 or any kinda video converting could do that.

Well here’s the crap again. Oh dude, am I still writin’ in this fuckin’ language again? Sure. I hope u don’ mind so here’s poll about it:

- oh yes dud3 pls continue, it’s awesome…

- learn english first bastard!

- u think it’s funny? ahh gimme a break!

- like i care, i’m not reading it anyway…

You can vote till i’ve got this ’i fuckin’ write bla bla bla in English’ mood. Till then enjoy the show dudes!

Ooops i forgot to watch bl22 tonight, so there won’t be any entry about it yet, even if it’s the most wanted episode for me. The episode with the most blood sweat and tears. But i don’t deserve it today for various reasons like ‘u didn’t do anything today’ or ‘fuckin switch of that computer’. But at last today i’m finished NGE OST without skipping a single track. I think i deserve the ‘deadliest otaku’ title now. So i can get back to dnb again. For that reason i’ve listened bassdrive for 4 hours. Maybe that why i have a headache now.

Oh yeah, i almost forgot: FUCKING MATLAB!!! I’M GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF IT!!! (one day).

Shit. The words ain’t coming in my mind so that’s all for today.

See ya n3xt w33k dudes!

I wish I could draw or stop reading the most awesome site I’ev ever seen (~300 pages in 2 nights~ someone shoot me pls!).

Hooo I feel I just have to write somethin’ in English this time but I don’t know why. Maybe I just read too much English stuff lately. Ah yeah and I also watched two American film in the last two days. The Bourne films. I can’t tell their titles but I can tell that I watched them in the wrong order. I figured this out in the middle of the 2nd one, when someone who should’ve been dead jumps out. They won’t change the world as usual, but they’re were quite watchable. Well the first one was better. Never mind! Ooh shit. My language battery is getting flatter, I think I need a dictionary to finish this post. Damn I should learn some fuckin’ English in my sparetime instead of watching J stuff and read and search and DL even more J stuff. This life sucks, and I just figured this out from a highly amusing webcomic. Yeah here we are again. Maybe I should just throw away this shiny noisy machine, take a deep breath and do some normal stuff for the rest of life. Yeah that would be great. Reading books, learning everything about physics, don’t talk to weird guys anymore, just to cute girls. Ah shit not that again. Oh yeah I should learn French too. I really dislike them for some reason but I just can’t let those years of learning their fuckin’ language waste. Well it’s already a waste cuz I ain’t know anything. How did it come up then? Well today instead of solving some equations etc. I’ve tried to translate FMA Kids OVA from French to English and Hungarian. Well it took me 6 hours but if I don’t count the 4-hour trip to the Capital for no reason particularly it’s not that much. My mom decided that I should have a rest far away from the computer. She was quite right expect that I didn’t do anything in which I tired so badly that I should get up from my armchair. So let’s say it took me 2 hours two make a trilingual 8-lined subtitle to the shortest (and cutest) FMA OVA. So I think I won’t be a fansubber soon. Even thought I know the technical stuff (converting, editing subs) I lack the knowlegde of the languages so this sucks. Oh ye, and I was listening NGE OST the whole day. I even got the idea to watch the whole series and search the coldest corner in the house and play the depressed guy for the rest of the weekend. Oh shit I should’ve split this post into paragraphs. Damn it…. Never mind I don’t do it then…. So where I was? Ah yeah, as usual I didn’t learn much today. No physics no damn numerical methods and still no homework. My mom’s gonna fry my ass if I fail any of my exams. Shit. I wondering right now why I’m still listening this shit. There’s some tracks that I hear the 12th time today. No I didn’t switch shuffle on and the playlist didn’t reach the last track yet. It’s just that the whole set has 240 tracks which is about 15 hours non-stop music. But the whole series wasn’t this long as one of my friends revealed it. Yes there’s some track which are on every one of the albums, like "fly me to the moon" or "Zaunkoku na tenshi…" or "Thanatos". But that’s the result of my megalomaniac habits. Fuck I should just listen some ass-raping drum’n'bass. Oh by the way I make a new track but I fucked up somethin’ with the mastering so it sounds really bad in a WAV file and I lost the mood to repair it. But it will be some hard-stuff when it’s done. No you can’t DL yet. Sorry Like anyone would listen it hheee?! Ohh damn radio-cafe with these damn commercials in the begining of the online transmission, I think I won’t listen Szolfézs today. Oh I forgot. I still didn’t listened Kimigabuchi’s RE-TAKE OST….. Oh yeah it roxx but I still don’t get why a dounjinshi have a soundtrack :\ I think I really have to go to sleep now. Bye!

I can agree with this little neko…